Not through my Cat Flap too.

The look on your face this morning was a picture. It’s one thing, Jingles sneaking in through the Cat Flap to help himself to biscuits it’s quite another taking the whole frame with him on the way out. That gaping hole in the middle of the backdoor came as a bit of a shock. Then all that searching in the garage, shifting boxes, lifting lids, why didn’t you look up as the spare extra large Cat Flap was on the shelf. Always going on at me for having a “man look!”

 

Back indoors for the screwdriver and instructions. In theory one identical door should fit into the exact same place as the other. I heard you cursing my DIY technique where the holes didn’t quite marry up. Wedging the door open with your slippers worked quite well as you shoved your right hand through the cat flap, pity your’e  right handed made the screw driver in your left a bit difficult. When that wasn’t too successful you tried screwing outside in so now it looks a bit of a mismatch and you always complained about me bodging things up. Then the bloody cats wouldn’t use it without a demonstration and Dreamies on both sides. Cat Flap training takes a lot of patience which you seemed to lack at 6.30 this morning.


ps. Following cats with bells on might be your idea of fun but now you've discovered Jingles lives round the corner and is actually called Fred Bassett are you still going to let him in. I heard you telling tales on him to his Dad no wonder he sat with his back to you giving you the silent treatment. But then at 18 years old you might forgive him his constitutional at 5.30 am and 3.30 pm via yours. Senile my arse , he's got sneaking in down to a fine art and he heard you saying how he never eats the Whiskas. Paws up to you then...... he went back for a third visit and ate the whole bowl.

Trip advisor has a lot to answer for.

I really think it’s about time you went back to work. You’ve been taking this ‘ladies what lunch’ thing a bit too far. Bacon butties here, sausage sandwiches there, a little pasta at the Galleria, Panini at Hectors shed and while you’re at Dunelm you seem to like popping into Macdonald’s. Your Trip advisor rating for eateries has soared to 5,122 points as has your waist line. Restaurant level 12 isn’t something to be proud of when it’s all about the breakfasts.

The weather is changing and your soaking up the rays in the garden will be curtailed so you’ll just have to get your wet weather gear on and get gardening. It’s all very well sneaking off to the allotment but that doesn’t keep the weeds at bay. Don’t forget to complete the end of season pond clearance when you get the chance to wear your favourite waders and shower cap and I notice the leaves have started to drop already.

Don’t know what you were thinking this morning dropping into the Spiritualist church if you were expecting me to turn up you’ve got another thing coming. Serves you right for going, I saw you miming‘Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam’ followed by a bunch of people singing ‘If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands’. You didn’t stay for coffee and biscuits though, not double espresso on offer or were you rushing home for another reason.

Anyway back to school tomorrow, just make sure you stay away from the biscuit tin.